So it happened again. A few days ago, these two girls said they went to a play. Only the two of them. Never even told me, let alone ask me if I wanted to go. The funny thing? When they told everybody, they said we should all go together. The thing went on until last weekend, it was the birthday party of a friend and they started to get serious about going. I previously said the tickets were too expensive to me (I've been having serious monetary problems lately) and couldn't afford them. But the idea kept going. I didn't say anything that night, but later on one of them asked me if I wanted to go to which I said I couldn't because I had zero money and couldn't even buy notebooks for college (which is true actually), and she didn't even responded, not even the other one. It was in our group chat. I don't mean for them to buy me a ticket but ANY kind of word would have been fine, at least something to show me you're a little dissapointed because I couldn't go. I'm not saying they shouldn't go JUST because I'm not going but the way they handle things just makes me feel to displaced. One of the thing that I hate the most is that it seems one of them was/is so entitled to try and fit onto that group of friends that just does everything to get it. And I don't feel they try to make me fit either. There's another girl who didn't go but because she didn't want to (the play was not her thing) and just now I opened the group chat where we're all in and they were talking about the play, everything was fun until I read one of them just referred to the other girl, AND JUST HER, that they hoped she would come to the play next time. Umm, hello? I'm there too? Maybe they don't insist because they know I can't pay for the tickets but I don't know, say something like: "It's a shame you couldn't come" or SOMETHING. I feel so stupid. Maybe I'm just overreacting but it actually hurts me somehow. While writing this I thought about disconnecting from WhatsApp for a while or... I don't know, maybe that's just too dramatic but I genuinely don't know how to handle this. Am I jealous? Maybe. It's just that I felt this throughout my entire elementary, middleschool and a part of highschool life and it's not nice AT ALL. I thought those days were over and that they will never come back. I felt safe with my bestfriends but, I don't know if I can say that anymore. I hope is just temporary.
